Phobias And Fresh Starts

It’s like my worst nightmare. Seriously. I would rather give birth or hike the Himalayas than deal with what is probably one of my deepest fears. Unfortunately, after weeks and often months of my typical avoidance strategies, I can no longer exist in denial. This has to be faced squarely with no hesitation. So, with all the appropriate materials at hand and having assembled the necessary supplies I stand with my feet shoulder width apart, my knees slightly bent, and my back straight. My palms are sweaty, my stomach is churning, and my throat feels dry. I resist the urge to turn and flee the inevitable. I stretch out my yellow gloved right hand, hold my breath, and open the refrigerator door.

My name is Glory. And I have a phobia of cleaning the refrigerator. “Hi Glory,” my mental support group replies.

I’m not sure where it started or why it offends me so much. But eventually I know it must be done. Confrontation of any kind just sends me reeling. But there is just something about containers of mystery leftovers, jars of half-used food, cartons of expired products, and the bag or two of fresh-last-season produce run amuck on sticky shelves and carousing in crispers that evokes a soft whimper and a shudder or two. Yet I continued on, unloading chilled foodstuffs, scrubbing and wiping surfaces, and tossing away things that would not be making a return to the refrigerator. While there was a time I would have considered this to be wasteful, I have since determined that something that isn’t needed, wanted, or even safe to consume is simply taking up space for something better, healthy, and far more appealing. In short, I was practically giving my refrigerator a makeover. And now it looks fabulous, darling! Teen girl even applauded.

Besides the obvious improvement to the cleanliness of the kitchen, there are several other health benefits to a good fridge cleanse. More space is not the least of these good effects. All that junk was taking up room on the shelves for free without even paying rent. Getting rid of the deadbeat items means I can buy more fresh healthy things like spinach and yogurt for my green smoothies. It also means that when I open the refrigerator door I can save time by easily viewing my choices and making my selection quickly without contemplating what sort of sweet calorie-laden goodies might be more readily obtained in the cupboard. An organized refrigerator filled with good healthy food makes for a disciplined me filled with energy, vitality, and joy. My fridge is happy again, and so am I!

Glory

Cheats And Eats

We have been vacationing on and off all Summer, and it has been fantastic! We love to travel, see new places, and just enjoy a nice break from the routine. Between a church family camp at a nearby park to a family visit in Wyoming to a birthday celebration trip to Philadelphia, there has been plenty to do and discover, including how far it takes to walk from Embassy Suites to the Liberty Bell (1.6 miles). The food aspect is important because we tourists need it for fuel, of course, but we also use it for celebration and fun.

Yes, I just admitted that eating, for me, is fun! A lot of fun, in fact, if there are plenty of choices, like one might find at Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia. This is kind of an indoor version of our own Pike Place Market in Seattle, with more restaurants and a huge international supermarket. I personally loved the Mediterranean menu and really tucked into ½ my vegetarian lasagna. The mammoth portion was more than I needed to consume in one sitting and setting half of it aside for another meal wasn’t difficult at all. It was like two meals for the price of one! I also made sure to add homemade baklava to my purchase. And as possessive as I am with my sweet treats I graciously shared the baklava with the hubby and teen.

Breakfast at Embassy Suites are complimentary and delicious! From made-to-order omelettes to bowls full of fresh fruit it was easy to start the day of eating out right and healthy. I love my vegetables so my omelette was fully loaded with mushrooms, tomatoes, peppers, and onions along with diced ham and crumbled bacon (a girl can indulge a little, right?) The nice thing about a hotel suite is the refrigerator and microwave where we could take our uneaten yogurt or still intact muffin for snacking on later. It saves money and time when just a bit of munching is in order. We also bought a couple of bags of small Dove and Hershey’s chocolates to enhance our hotel experience, and to stave off cravings for heavy desserts. Like late at night during The Nanny marathon or catching up on Bones episodes. *cough, cough* After walking several miles every day one is practically entitled to a nibble or two here and there!

More often than not I stayed true to my salad-for-lunch commitment but I did cheat a bit with sauced up pastas and desserts (always shared, however). In other words, I enjoyed the flavors of the city and we always offered each other bites of whatever we had, but I got away with slightly fewer calories by turning one restaurant sized serving into two meals, except for the diced Norwegian salmon in a aurora cream sauce at Bellini. The portion was appropriate for one meal and we stayed long enough to savor the experience. And, by the blessed grace of God, I still didn’t add any pounds or inches. Now that totally feels like I just cheated!

Glory

Skinnier Summer Salads

Yumm. Summer eating is by far one of my favorite outdoor activities. With the intoxicating smell of fire-cooked meats wafting past backyard fences my tastebuds implore me to mix up something fresh, tasty, and cool. Salads are the obvious choice since assembling the ingredients and allowing time to chill can all be accomplished as close as an hour ahead of dinner time. With so many classic recipes to choose from it's like a party every day!

So how does a Free And Transformed girl like me satisfy my salad cravings and stay on track with my health and fitness goals. I mean, we all know the benefits of using fresh ingredients, including green leafy vegetables in our menus, and avoiding high fat and high calorie dressings. But, seriously, there comes a time when forkfuls of spinach and lettuce just don't satisfy. When it comes to our favorite summer salads, quite honestly, modifications can only go so far. Take potato salad, for instance. It's not potato salad without the creaminess of mayonnaise the and bits of egg in every bite. Or how about marshmallow fruit salad with its sour cream dressing, or pistachio salad which is pretty much a glorified pudding dessert served up in a salad bowl.

In my search for healthier options I have discovered a great alternative to mayonnaise. Instead of the 1/3 to 1/2 cup of mayonnaise that most creamy salads list in the ingredients, a plain low fat yogurt can be used to replace part or even all of the rich dressing that typically goes into potato salad, broccoli salad, or even pasta salad. Experiment first with recipes that are simple and then you can broaden your skills as you get braver.

So, what about sweet fruity salads where Cool Whip or miniature marshmallows steal the show? Well, try this recipe for a backyard barbecue favorite and let me know if you missed the calorie-laden whipped topping and sweet confections:

Pistachio-Pineapple Cottage Salad

Prep time: 10 Min Serves: 6-8 servings

Ingredients:

- 1 20 oz can crushed pineapple, undrained
- 1 1oz box, sugar free instant pistaschio pudding
- 2 C plain yogurt
- 1 1/2 C low fat cottage cheese

Directions:

1. Mix all together and chill
2. Note: Great for diabetics. 1 fruit, 1 milk, 1 protein

How easy is that?! I'm learning that sticking with the traditional salad recipes is actually sticking me with a lot of fat and calories that I really don't need. And, while we're gathering together with family and friends, it's the atmosphere of love and joyfulness that we appreciate the most, anyway, right?

Glory

"I'm on vacation..." And Other Lame Excuses To Backslide

Last week our family spent four days camping with other families from our church at a nearby park. The surroundings were beautiful and once the wood got crackling in the fire ring I have to be honest that I wanted nothing more than a s'more and a steaming mug of hot cocoa. All healthy diet thoughts flew out of my head like all those pretty little sparks rising above the warm colored flames. Yes, I could have been content to let all my recent efforts and achievements go up in smoke at that time, but I scrunched up my resolve and decided that, while I may not make a lot of progress, I would not be set back either.

It took some creativity to get one 3-ish mile run in with Alisha and Sara but I did it and actually enjoyed having spent time with my friends keeping each other on track. But it does take a lot of determination to be active while enjoying some rest and relaxation. Camping makes it a bit easier since there is significantly more walking, moving about, and exertion when kids wander a little too far and you need to chase after them. But getting in the usual routine isn't always realistic so it's important to adjust your expectations somewhat and modify diet and fitness goals.

Food-wise I packed a few personal favorite snack items but included as many fresh veggies and fruits as possible to balance my cravings for typical camp fare. Having everything prepped and ready to eat is important since it's much easier to split open a bag of chips than peel and slice carrots. Limiting sugar-infused drinks is really important too. In fact, I didn't even bother getting any sodas to sip but rather picked up a few juices and flavored water. Even there, we could have gotten by on plain water and I found I was more likely to drink what was easiest to grab. Keeping water bottles filled and chilled, if possible, makes water a more likely source of hydration for everyone. Finally, since I didn't make any baked treats to take along there wasn't the temptation to nibble on brownies or cookies during idle time. I was even proud of myself when goodies were being generously shared that I politely declined to sample the offerings. Time with friends was sweet enough for me.

In all, this was a good gauge of how the rest of our travel-filled Summer will go. The key here is planning. First off, I plan on keeping the cooler and food totes stocked with enough healthy snacks and meal supplies so we can avoid hitting greasy calorie laden fast food places. I plan on finding a hotel that offers a fitness center and maybe a pool for the kids to swim around in. Finally, I plan on destinations that have parks and hiking trails so we can get out in and enjoy some active family time. Active.com has some excellent resources on how to work exercise into a vacation. My personal favorite, other than a planned hike, is spending visiting time taking walks and catching up while enjoying the outdoors. It's memories like these that will last much longer than a roasted marshmallowy melted chocolate graham cracker sandwich!

Glory

Believing The Unseen

On any journey we take to better ourselves there is always an undercurrent of faith that carries us through valleys and rough spots. Of course we don’t typically draw from it as much as we should. Instead we look to visible things to show us how far we’ve come and how much further we have to go. Maybe it’s a matter of weeks or months since the last cigarette was smoked, the last drink of alcohol was consumed, or the last candy bar passed the lips and landed on the hips. It could be a coin jar that hasn’t seen any new “potty change” because a swearing habit has been broken. For me, it’s the numbers on the scale, the size of my oh-so-truthful jeans – jeans never tell lies, by the way – and what I see in the mirror. The funny thing about sight is that so much of it is based on perception and so little on holistic reality. Don’t worry, I’m not going to weird anyone out with New Age philosophy. But I am going to be very candid about believing and having faith in things we don’t see with our eyes but we can certainly behold in our hearts.

No one would argue that changes are hard, and actually suck, at times. I mean, what average food loving individual would willingly bypass a brownie for a banana, or even broccoli. Girls, I can tell you right now that wasn’t me, not for most of my life. I don’t hate vegetables and actually enjoy them raw, cooked, alone, or with a small bit of butter. Fresh fruit and berries even make my taste buds sing a happy tune that makes me feel like wearing love beads and painting rainbow pictures. But when I’m battling a wild craving for chocolate, or ice cream, or chocolate swirl ice cream, I don’t hear any music and I’m not exactly happy about saying no to myself. I’m the one filling up the “potty change” jar with the colorful words in my head. That’s where my toughest struggle rests is in my thinking, and that’s where believing and having faith that God is changing me is most important. Because then I can seriously consider where poor choices will lead me, to a place of cake crumbs and licked-clean ice-cream bowls and emptiness. It’s a lonely hollow place that I never want to find myself at ever again.

Measuring success by the slowly descending numbers on the scale or jeans sizes can be encouraging and even keep the momentum going for a while. When others notice that the way we look has changed we can feel good about the compliments and even use that to motivate us to move towards our goals. But the good feeling from those kind and caring words lasts for mere moments and, without further dramatic differences in our appearance, may not be said again for a long time. Sticking with our health and fitness commitments requires a persevering attitude and strong resolve that we’re in this for the long haul, no matter who does or doesn’t notice and no matter if the numbers haven’t changed much at all. Supportive family members and friends can certainly keep us accountable when they see us faltering or slowing our progress. But, ultimately, the very act of choosing to do something hard or unappealing sets into motion something in us that is deeper than we may even understand. Call it inner fortitude, staying power, resolute endurance, or firmness of mind. Whatever it is it becomes an unshakable force that can help us withstand any situation or circumstance that might otherwise defeat us. For me it’s obvious that my strength comes from the Lord because I know how weak and vulnerable to failure I am. And even though I have not seen God with my human eyes, there is unquestionable evidence of His hand on my life that makes me believe with absolute confidence that the work that He has begun in me, He will be faithful to complete it! That gives me confidence to trust Him and know with all my heart that with Him all things, even things I can't see, are possible.

Glory

Owned

"They own you, now." Our lovely oldest daughter stated with simple wise solemnity.

And it was true.

I had just given my personal information, showed my driver's license, handed over my debit/credit card, and signed a 12 month contract at a local fitness club. As I drove home my eyes glanced over at the envelope containing my pink copy of the agreement and receipts and I felt a wave of horror and instantly gasped at the thought: What have I done?! My audible response to the settling in of reality is what prompted our teen's statement.

And I couldn't argue. I had to agree. And I had given it willingly.

As the day wore on and the considerate query of the manager, "Will you be working out today?" replayed itself in my head I began to have a different feeling about being owned. Maybe it wasn't a strict obligation to avail myself of the equipment or to comply with making an appearance. Maybe it wasn't an adherence to a difficult workout regimen or depriving myself of my favorite culinary pleasures. Maybe it was actually an aligning of my goals and aspirations with others who value their health and just honestly want to discipline their minds and bodies to be the best they can be.

I suppose if I really think about it, I rather like being owned. Because it also implies acceptance and belonging. It's not entirely scary to think about walking into a fitness facility, scanning my key card at the front desk, and walking over to the cardio machines and starting my workout. Seeing the great diversity of like-minded individuals at the gym it's quickly becoming an environment I can appreciate and enjoy. I already have two good friends who go there and I know I will meet new people every day I make it in. There is encouragement, support, and accountability with being a member of a gym and those are all good things.

There are some obvious spiritual parallels here as well: acceptance, belonging, support, accountability. Knowing that my friends who go the gym are also women I see at least every Sunday helps me to apply all that I have learned and all that I do to every other area of my life. That means that this isn't just a one-year contract that I'll be released from when the expiry date comes. This is a lifestyle change and a lifelong journey that I don't have to walk alone! See? Owned. Alone. I'll gladly choose to be owned!

Glory

I Joined The Zumba Party!

It felt a little like a blind date! Throughout the day I kept checking the time to see when I'd have to get ready. As the hour approached I wondered: Do I shower before or after I'm all sweaty? Should I wear comfortable shoes or will I end up barefoot? Will I look good enough and make all the right moves? My palms even got sweaty as I walked to the planned location. I make friends easily enough but sometimes I worry that I'll do something stupid. Like showing up so early that I'm the lone lady standing by the door waiting to be let inside. I didn't wait that long but it's a lesson learned for next time.

More women showed up and we were all greeted with a smile from a cheerful redhaired tattooed young woman in a bright tank shirt and roomy yellow pants. She introduced herself as Bridget then quickly got the music going and we were led through an hour-long routine of movements that were fun, new, and a bit dizzying. Zumba is a party, after all! A couple of times we asked her to show us how to do things like the shimmy or the booty shake. Some of it was daunting choreography, especially for a beginner like me, but knowing that this wasn't "Dancing With The Stars" or anything competitive made it so fun and was actually more of a workout than I expected. By the time we finished cooling down, stretching, and Bridget led us in prayer (did I mention all this hip-swaying and pelvic tilting happened in a church?) I felt like I had joined a special sorority of empowered women of all ages who were celebrating our God-given bodies and getting fit at the same time.

What I enjoyed the most about this experience, besides the fact that it was a free Zumba class, was just the diversity of experience and fitness levels and how comfortable we all were in being together. I did end up barefoot as did another young woman which made some of the turning moves easier. Other women wore t-shirts but I felt more free to move in a tank shirt. And it was a good thing I skipped the shower since things got sweaty fast. Now I'm checking off the days until the next class, which is four days from now!

My advice after this Zumba experience is simple: find a class that will let you check it out for free. That way you'll know what you're comfortable with, the instructor's style, and the group you'll be working out with. Shoes with little or no tread can be worn but dance sneakers are the better way to go. Check with the instructor if you want to try going barefoot as he or she may have a strict policy about footwear. Even though I did my first class barefoot I know I'll have to get better shoes if I want to continue Zumba.

And, after how I felt having moved every possible muscle and joint in my body, I know this is something I want to do as often as possible!

Glory